As the move draws closer (less than 5 weeks to go, and I’m sure you’d like me to shut up already about it) I find myself feeling like I need to capture each moment and save it for future memories, for times when I want to look back and remember what it was like, what it felt like, living here, walking through the streets of the greatest city on Earth, feeling at home and yet still as excited to be here as a first-time visitor, every single time.
I feel like I should savor it, but also save it for future enjoyment. It’s a lot like becoming a parent: it’s a mix of joy, because it’s a special moment, one you want to remember, and sadness, because you know that this moment is unique and not coming back. How sentimental can you get about a move? A lot, apparently.
This past weekend, I felt like that a lot. I didn’t do anything super-special, no big tourist attractions or road trips – it was almost mundane, but still lovely. And yet, doing everyday-type things this past weekend made me feel like I’m about to give up a part of my life.
On Saturday, Stella and I met my friend Jax downtown for some shopping, lunch, a visit to the park. It was a beautiful day, we had a very nice time. As we made our way uptown I found myself looking at things differently. Things I have seen, walked past many many times, all of a sudden took a different look. Would it be the last time I looked at them? Probably not, but just in case, I felt the need to capture them anyway.
Flatiron Building
Grand Central, from Park and 41st
And of course I had to say goodbye to Jax. Jax, whom I met only a little over one year ago, almost by accident – and yet, in this short time, she has become one of my closest friends. We didn’t really say goodbye, not the kind of goodbye you say to someone you may not see again for a long, long time; we just said bye, planned on getting together once more before we leave, thanked each other for the lovely day. It was bittersweet, and I deliberately avoided saying “in case we don’t see each other before I go…” because I didn’t want to think about that, I wanted to think I’d definitely be able to see her again in the next 4 short weeks.
Me and Jax
On Sunday hubs and I decided to take the girls to the Bronx zoo, as we probably won’t be able to go again before we leave. We all love the Bronx zoo, it’s one of those places where the parents have as much fun as the kids (not like playgrounds, where I feel like shooting myself after 15 minutes). So I took a little over 200 pictures. Insane, right? I just wanted to make sure I’d have at least one good one out of each set, so I’d take the same shot 5 or 6 times, from different angles, zooming in and out. Because when would I be able to see that again? To get that shot?
Monarch Butterfly (Butterfly Garden)
Scarlet Ibis (Sea Bird Aviary)
stunning toddler specimen (Unlikely Housewife home exibit)
I need to find the line. The line between carpe diem, where you enjoy every minute, and that frantic feeling you have when you are afraid to miss out big time. Taking photos helps me so.much.
And so does blogging. Because when I look back in a month, or in a year, those feelings will come rushing back, and positive feelings always bring serenity and renewed energy. Because sometimes the most mundane, simple, everyday experiences are those you miss the most. (Maybe because that’s where you recognize yourself?) And because sometimes looking back helps you look forward.
I have never loved blogging, or my digital camera, as much as I do right now.
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