Ooh, do you miss me like a hole in the head?
Because I do
And it’s cool
And ooh, I bet you never thought I’d get out of bed
Because of you
Such a fool
- Sugababes, “Hole in the head”
I was listening to this song on the radio yesterday, and it made me think of a friend. A friend who is really supportive, a loving mom and just an all-around lovely, fun, hard-working, decent person. A friend who is going through a divorce right now.
The details are not mine to share, but let’s just say I’m mad. I’m mad because she doesn’t deserve this, because she always put her family first and now she is getting screwed.
I’m mad because I don’t know how to help, other than putting a contract out on a couple of people who are really behaving like scum (and obviously I’m not about to do that.)
I’m mad because she is hurting so bad right now, she can’t see how much better off she is.
I’m mad because when my friends or anyone I care for hurts, I hurt for and with them, and for a time I truly despise whoever is causing the hurt.
I’m mad because I have been so absorbed in my own stuff that I haven’t been in touch with my friend for over 2 months, and the first conversation we had after 2 months was about this horrible thing that’s happening in her life, and how brokenhearted she is.
So basically, I’m kind of mad.
What do you tell someone who is going through that? He’s SO not worthy of your tears may be true, but I doubt it’ll make her feel better.
She always tells me she loves how I can make fun of stuff instead of getting all drama queen about it, how even when something sucks I manage to somehow make it sound ridiculous. She said she wished she could do that now. So it made me think that maybe making her a mixed CD of girl power/upbeat breakup songs might make her laugh. But then I stopped, because I don’t want her to think I’m trivializing this.
Also, because I was lucky enough not to have a breakup for a long time, I realize I may be approaching this in a really immature way, the way I might have handled it when I last broke up with someone. But I still remember that so clearly, too clearly in fact. And I remember what songs I listened to, because for a long time those songs reminded me of a certain person.
On top of the list was, of course, You oughta know by Alanis Morrisette. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in that one. Raise your hand if you ever sang along with Alanis, getting angry all over about… you know, bad relationship stuff. And certainly, being mad about it is better than getting mopey about it. Just as long as you keep your temper in check of course. And if you have trouble doing that… well, that’s when i found kickboxing 
(A girl needs an outlet, n’est-ce pas?)
Don’t speak by No Doubt also featured fairly heavily, but as I said, I preferred the angry mood to the mopey mood, so I tried to stick to songs that made me feel like I was telling the guy to get lost.
Do you think music helps when you are dealing with something like this? Or does it make things worse? What’s the best breakup song, or the one you remember the most?
Come on, spill. You know we’ve all been there at some point.
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