The talk. No, not that one. The other one.

I know, I have been blogging only sporadically in the past several weeks.

But what do you say, when everything you could say sounds silly? Saying something you don’t mean, just to fill the silence… is it really better then letting it be and just learning to live with the quiet, at least for the time being? At least until you have organized your ideas or gotten comfortable enough with them that you are ready to voice them?

I think so.

I recently had to deal with a situation that involved my teen daughter, and which left me puzzled. Puzzled, because I have learned so much about her and myself in those few painful moments than I ever have in the rest of our time together. Puzzled, because while for a moment I told myself that I didn’t know her at all, I then realized that neither did she. And that neither of us knew the other or herself, and that we had been living and walking around until that moment mostly reliving past joys and trying to find happiness in our everyday lives, without stopping to consider WHAT would really make us happy.

Some things make you take a really hard look at your life. And you really, really cannot give up until you are done looking, until you have seen all there is to see and confronted all there is to confront.

And I can tell you with absolute certainty what the biggest happiness killer is: SETTLING.

DO.NOT.SETTLE.

Do not let your dreams become something you look at regretfully, something that makes you resent yourself or anyone else. Do not let yourself just slip into what’s comfortable, what’s easy, whatever requires the least amount of effort and work.

‘Cause here is something else I realized: the only thing that is between you and your dreams is YOU. Sure, there might be things to handle, difficulties, naysayers. Sure, you might not have support and it may seem impossible, but let’s be honest: if you were determined, fully committed to make that dream come true, is there anyone or anything who could stop you?

I think our main problem is that too often, we are scared of reaching for the stars. Maybe we are scared of failing, or of making fools of ourselves. Maybe we are scared of putting ourselves first, because that might mean that we are egoistical bitches. Or maybe we are just scared of all that work.

So let’s reiterate, shall we?

And while we are at it, stop caring what others think. They are just as scared as you are – maybe more! Those naysayers? They are probably scared shitless of giving themselves a chance, so for years they have been telling themselves that nothing is worth pursuing, because you will likely fail.

It just seems so much easier not to try at all, doesn’t it?

Except for the fact that being miserable isn’t easy either. It’s really damn hard. So why not say “F**k it”, grab life by the balls and just go after what you really want with all your might?

Do it. Set your creativity and your adventurous spirit free.

Do it for yourself – because no matter what anyone may have told you, you CAN make your dreams come true.

Don’t do it to show off, or because you think you are not good enough the way you are. You are good enough. But are you happy enough? Actually, there is no enough in happiness – you either are or aren’t. (Content, now there’s a whole range there. But happy? Fairly black and white.) So ask yourself: are you happy? If your answer is not a resounding YES, do it.

Do it now, before you can chicken out, before you talk yourself out of it again.

Just jump. Don’t look down. You will land on your feet. And if not, you will dust yourself off and keep going.

I know you’ve got it in you. And you know it too.

(One more time, with feeling!)

 

 

Comments

  1. says

    Oh my goodness. I do not know what is going on in your life and what made you write this post in the first place. You wrote this probably with totally different thoughts than I read it.
    And yet it seemed like you are giving me a pep talk. It seems we are struggling with the same things. I hope you tackle what ever it is you want to tackle. I am working on my dream. I still try to figure out what that is. And yes I am damn scared with some of those thoughts. But thank you for your words.

    Have a great Sunday evening, Tobia

  2. says

    Hi Elisa! Thanks so much for this! I have been telling my husband for a while that I feel we are meant to be doing something more creative with our lives. Not exactly sure what, but I have some business ideas up my sleeve, except I am just sitting on my hands about the whole thing. I need to do something!

    xoxo

  3. says

    Wow.

    Well. I don’t think I can top that!!

    I got it!

    Sending lots of love and hugs your way…it is not easy raising a teenager.

    I’m here if you need me…just drop me a line!! mwah!
    xo
    Jeanne

  4. says

    It sounds like you been through a tough phase and come out positive. That’s amazing. Let me know if you want to talk and I’m there. Big hug to you and your daughter :-)

    Just to avoid any confusion, I’m blogging at another space now, but it’s still me :-)

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