Spurred by the sudden freedom from strict schedules brought on by summer break, a few weeks ago I vowed to continue what I had started with the Green Smoothie Challenge and dedicate more time to taking care of myself, creating healthy habits without falling into the obsessive dieting trap.
I have been dieting on and off for 12 years. It has done nothing but completely trash my metabolism, make me miserable and make me gain more weight. Enough of that. I have decided to stop punishing myself and instead start being kinder to myself.
The way I have looked at and thought of myself in the past… I haven’t been very kind. There has been a lot of negative self-talk, a lot of put-downs and criticism. And what’s shocking is that I am not an unkind person. I would never, ever even consider treating anyone the way I have treated myself. ’Cause that would be extremely mean! Which begs the question: what makes it ok to be mean to ourselves?
No more.
From now on I will focus on being healthy and feeling good.
I will stop hating my body – heck, even make an effort to start loving it, plus-size curves and pregnancy stretch marks and all.
I will stop focusing on what people might see when they look at me, and start focusing on how I feel, basing that on my actual well being, comfort and feelings and not on what someone else’s perception of me might be.
I will stop feeling self-conscious about my body and start feeling empowered by the fact that there is so much more to me that my pant size.
And I will stop with all the negative self-talk. How can I expect to be treated fairly and kindly from others, if I won’t treat myself that way?
No more.
I’ll have to work at it… but I’ll get there.
Yes, I would love to lose weight. But I am not willing to do that at the expense of my wellbeing, my happiness, a balanced life. I am not willing to let “losing weight” be the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think of when I go to bed at night; nor am I willing to let it take first place on my list of priorities. There is a lot more than I want to accomplish!
I don’t have to be skinny to accomplish my goals and live life in full; I have to be healthy and believe in myself and be willing to work hard, and those are much better qualities to have.
This isn’t to be taken as a diss on all skinny girls out there; it really isn’t.
This is me saying to you, no matter whether you are a size 2 or a size 22, no matter whether you exercise for fun, health or vanity (or whether you exercise at all, for that matter!! ), no matter your weight, your height, your body shape… please be kind to yourself.
Because you deserve kindness, and to be loved and appreciated for who you are.
Because you are special – after all, there is only one of you!
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I love this. What an inspiring thing to do for yourself. Go you!
I love this. I’ve never been a dieter, I don’t have the will power but I reached the point of being disgusted with myself after my hysterectomy and 3 kids took the body that everyone used to accuse of being anorexic into a body that is decidedly…not…
But, I don’t beat myself up for it anymore. I still don’t diet. I eat healthier and in smaller portions. I’ve cut back on pop & increased my water intake significantly. I do exercise but I exercise to feel good & healthy not with a weight goal or body image in mind…I know that I have my body for a damn good reason (3 of them, actually) and that my husband thinks I’m beautiful. I have lost weight, but I count that as a bonus not a necessity
Good for you!! Keep it up! We ALL need to do this.
I hear ya! Been there, done that! Been there again, done that again!…and so on and so forth…I’ve always been hard on myself, too. It only gave me more stress than I could handle. Unsatisfied with my body, comparing the “was” with the “is” finally got me to lose 15 kilos. Wow, you’d say!… Still not satisfied! The bumps and lumps on my buttocks did not disappear and my once firm and perky boobs “migrated south”. Not happy! But enough, I’m not 20 anymore (I’m 42) and I’ve had 2 kids since then and I look good, I think. I’m not a greek godess but I’m not the medusa either! I have a healthy weight now and I will focus on eating healthily and exercising. I will be kind to myself, as you so well said. Thank you for inspiring us to love ourselves!
P.S. Check out a sort of similar post I had a while back http://thegreekhousewife.blogspot.gr/2012/01/to-diet-or-not-to-diet.html
this is awesome! i find that as i get older, i’m more comfortable in my own skin…stretch marks and saggy skin included. i just won’t wear a bikini or skin tight clothing but…i’m 43, i probably should steer clear of those tween type clothes anyways!!
Well done! What a beautiful example of “showing up for yourself”!
From early childhood traumas and hurts (no, you don’t have to of been abused outwardly to have been traumatized) we create a barrier in which we protect ourselves. Unfortunately, in that process we begin lying to ourselves. The Inherent Nature we’re all born with (ie; good, lovable, valuable, beautiful, worthy, etc.) is replaced with “False Beliefs” (ie; I’m not good enough, I’m ugly, I’m stupid, I’m fat). We view the world through our lenses of False Belief instead of our Inherent Nature.
The easiest way to see this is that our False Beliefs are in alignment with our Ego (“edging God out”) where are Inherent Nature is in alignment with our Soul (God, the source). When Ego and False Belief rule we mistaken our sense of self with external factors such as people’s perceptions of us, our looks, our jobs, our blogs, our cars, and the list goes on. It’s a viscious and never ending cycle of living in darkness. In fact, I would argue that we’re not even living.
This post is an example of the first step in getting out of that darkness. I don’t know you and yet I know with certainty that you are precious, beautiful, intelligent, creative, and very lovable. Kudos to you for showing up for yourself and giving yourself that first step in alignment with your inherent nature, your TRUE self.
Thinking well of you.
Gorgeous post Elisa, and so true. Sometimes it is hard to accept ourselves as we are. You raise so many good points. The most important thing is to be healthy. Good luck in your endeavour
Thank you for such an inspiring post. I’m about 25 pounds overweight and it’s been bothering me for a long time. You’re right, I have to just love myself and most likely the weight can come off gradually instead of adding on to my small 5’1 frame if I stop stressing about it. Take care!
It’s amazing how negative we are to ourselves – no external sources needed. This is such an inspirational post, Elisa. I may need to try some of these mental tricks out on myself, as well!!
You really nail it here. I doubt any of us would subject our worst enemy to the thoughts that we pelt ourselves with on a daily basis.
When I get in a self-abusive rut I try to remember that the things I over-focus on are things that people don’t see. They just don’t, until of course, we allow our self doubt to make us stoop in defeat.
Please keep sharing how you are doing with this!
This is SO true! You will be much happier! I woak up one day and thought ‘you know what? I am not going to spend the rest of my life miserable and trying to be a size zero. I’m FINE.’
What a nice post. As an ex-coxswain I am used to getting stressed if I go over a certain weight, so the post-baby number 2 weight has been a bit of a shock to the system. But I’ve found it surprisingly easy to just go “Meh. I might worry about it later. Or I might not. Who knows?”
Love your determination not to think about this all the time. It really can become obsessive and define us, to the exclusion of so much we value more. Wise words, thank you for this.
So true — such an inspiring post!
Yay you! It is so easy to be down on our bodies, good for you for proactively taking a different approach. Very inspiring!
I can so relate to this, sweetie. We’re so alike. Good luck, my dear. Love yourself and it will all work out
xoxo