Some visitors… no matter how much you may be happy to have them over, they are visitors. It always feels like someone is in your house who doesn’t really belong there. An outsider.
I’m a little neurotic about some things, and much as I like meeting with friends and family, I get kind of panicky when I have people over. Will they like my cooking? Will they have a nice time? Is the house clean enough? I hope we don’t get bored. And when it’s overnight guests, it’s even worse. Do they have everything they need? I need to come up with space for their clothes and things. Damn, our bathrooms are too small. I have to somehow keep the girl’s schedule while also taking care of our guests.
I recently had a guest. She just left. And I finally managed to relax and have fun while being the hostess.
Jax is one of my closest friends. We met two years ago, when we both attended the SELF Workout in the Park with other New York Yelpers. We went to brunch afterward and completely canceled out a morning of exercise classes by enjoying screwdrivers, spinach and artichoke dip, and pizza. And after our day of inconsequential fun was over, then we kept in touch.
When two outspoken, friendly, chatty people get together, it’s impossible to keep a superficial relationship for long: you either end up getting on each other’s nerves like noone’s business, or you become fast friends – and luckily the latter is what happened with us. We talked on the phone a lot, constantly e-mailed each other, and somehow became integral part of each other’s lives, despite (and this surprised us when we actually thought about it) having met face to face only a handful of times.
I was incredibly excited that Jax was coming – it was one thing that kept me positive during the move and gave me something to look forward to, the fact that I woulnd’t be estranged from all my NY friends, that she was going to come visit me in Switzerland– and I’m glad to say that after the fact, I’m still happy and I still adore her. If you can spend several days in close quarters, living with kids and putting up with bad weather, and still like that person, than it’s meant to be 
And so Jax and I explored Zurich a bit, sometimes admiring things
sometimes making fun of things
occasionally stuffing our faces
and bitching about the miserable weather on and off.
Ok, I did most of the bitching. But I really wanted Jax to see how lovely Zurich is! And I think she saw that somewhat, especially since we spent almost all the time walking along the lake and shopping for chocolate, which are undoubtedly the two best bits
But even with that Jax said “I don’t think I could live here” and I was shocked – shocked, I tell you! Yeah, not really. The high prices and general grumpiness rub me the wrong way, too. But I decided to make lemonade. Look at the positive. Now I even find myself getting a little defensive. Zurich is not that bad after all. But it sure would be a lot better if Jax lived a little closer.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
I feel the same way- I love the company, but I secretly wish they would go away…I hate feeling conflicted like that because when my company is finally gone, I wish they were still here!
Company is tricky. I count the minutes until they arrive and then the minutes until they leave. But how lucky of you to have a guest that you had a lot of fun and relaxation time with! That’s the best! Looks like you two had fun. Can I come next time? Puhleeeeze?
I know what you mean about visitors, glad to have them but also relieved when they leave. Looks like the 2 of you really enjoyed yourselves in the photos.
It is different when it’s one of your best friend though, isn’t it? I’m glad you got a little bit of your NY social life this weekend. And I hope that you come across a “Jax” in Zurich, too.
.-= Cranky Sarah´s last blog ..10th Anniversary Chronicle =-.
did you ever hear that the guest is like fish?
After three days…it smells!
But friends are usually more accomodating and easy!!
Bitching around grumpiness – you mean complaining about how good some people are in sparing feelings and mutilating emotions?ach…
In my mind I do have the same thought: back to Berlin back to rudeness and I feel I don’t want to!!!
I know exactly what you mean! When I visit someone else, the pressure is off and I just enjoy myself. When I have guests I am constantly worried about being a good host, hoping they will have fun, and it just adds a lot of stress! The funny part is that my husband and I always want to plan more extravagent dinners and things, and that makes it all the more stressful.
Your friend sounds amazing and it sounds like you had a great time! Zurich also sounds amazing, I want to visit badly someday! I loved Geneva, it was beautiful.
.-= Rachel @ Inspiration in Italy´s last blog ..Sailors Take Warning =-.
I love having company over – but it can be hard also. I see myself that it is hard to entertain when you are chasing a 2 year old at the same time. I thank God that my husband is good at cooking and helping. I could never do it without him! Have a great week!
.-= Pres. Kathy´s last blog ..The things Mothers Do… =-.
There is nothing like good friends and time together. Some people just click- my best friend was my best friend 5 minutes after we met. When he parents met me they laughed and ask “how are their two of you in the world.” It’s the best.
.-= mountainmomma18´s last blog ..I don’t have rules to be my friend- except if you like Glen Beck =-.
Aaah, good friends. Lovely. And Zurich is very nice. I could live there completely. Well, in summer anyway.
I hate being a guest so much more than hosting. You should remember next time someone comes to stay that at least you got to stay on your home turf.
.-= Mwa´s last blog ..A small and joyful thought experiment =-.
Heheh! I know what you mean and can totally relate to the ‘guest issue’. But I have to say it’s a whole lot easier having good friends over than family at times
It’s a double sided sword!
Hey, I’m also the same about Oslo. I bitch and moan constantly about the place (well, after all, I’m half Norwegian so I’m allowed!) but when someone who comes over on a visit and grumbles about the place,… low and behold, I get defensive. Go figure!
Yes, Oslo like Zurich is an expensive city. They are both small cities by comparison to other European cities. And people can be in their own bubble and lack the skill to be friendly. BUT, we do have amazing sceneries, abundance of nature, fjords, distinct seasons, and it’s safe here -rather similar to Switzerland in many respects.
As long as your guest doesn’t become a permanent fixture to the household and picks up after them self, bring it on.
You should have seen the guests I had last year when I was preggers. I swear, divorce papers were in order after that hectic event…
Yay for friends! I think there are a grand total of two people that don’t send me to “stressed out” when they come and stay with me.
I hope more of your friends are able to come.
.-= Kellee´s last blog ..Jealousy – or why I love/hate mommy bloggers.. =-.
For the record, I said I couldn’t imagine living in Zurich is because I’m a New Yorker from birth so it’s hard for me to move anywhere and consider it home. However, with that said, I can’t wait to return to Zurich! I miss you and girls so very much!