It’s snowing. AGAIN. And everything is so quiet, like time is frozen, much like anything standing ouside in what has undoubtedly been inclement weather. Just the train interrupts the silence, reminds me that time isn’t frozen, that it’s still passing.
Sometimes I wonder if snow is Nature’s way to remind us to slow down. Stay home, where it’s warm, cuddle in bed, or curl up on the sofa with a cup of tea and a book, oblivious to our obligations, to anything but what feels good, the warmth of the blanket and the tea versus the unwelcoming cold that shocks me every time I step outside. We cannot, of course, indulge in that – no matter how hard Mother Nature may try to convince us to ignore our obligations and just take a break, let time be frozen – life just doesn’t stop happening because it’s cold outside, or because it’s snowing. Work to be done, timelines to meet, errands to run – life waits for no one, or at least modern life does not.
And I wonder why I find the snow so irritating, so especially annoying this year. It isn’t that I otherwise love it, but we have been known to coexist fairly peacefully, the snow and I. Is it the cold? Is it the risk of slipping? Is it the traffic? Or is it that it feels like a slap in the face, this being forced to slow down when all I want to do it go, go, go. Now that I feel like I have been awakened from a long sleep, now that I feel like any place can be somewhere I belong, as long as I create the life I want. Now that I feel like I have emerged from a peculiar state of suspension, much like a coma of sorts, or maybe more like sleepwalking. A state where everything has been happening around you, and you there, in a sort of suspended animation; and then you wake up and you are older, but really, none the wiser. What happened to my life? You wonder. Where did the time go? And you just can’t wait to make up for lost time.
That’s what’s happening now. And I can’t help but resent the snow, no matter how graceful, how beautiful – I can’t help resenting the snow for holding me back.
But is it? Can anything really hold you back once you are set on your way?
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Maybe this is part anger, part denial?
I get what you mean. It started to snow here last week, and I got very cross. It all melted, though.
I hope you get some proper Spring soon. x
.-= Mwa´s last blog ..Itty bitty teeny tiny country =-.
i think i resent the snow this year because it’s just so relentless. and refuses to just GO AWAY!
but i know about that feeling of suspended animation. i know it’s only temporary and going to change very soon, but it makes me feel very crabby.
.-= julochka´s last blog ..fast forward transition =-.
i tried to comment something (undoubtedly profound) about the relentlessness of the snow, but WP wouldn’t let me, so now it’s gone and all there is is this. and that feeling of suspended animation….
.-= julochka´s last blog ..fast forward transition =-.
oh wait, now suddenly it’s there. sorry for the multiple comments…i blame WP.
but this was a good post.
.-= julochka´s last blog ..fast forward transition =-.
Yes. Stomach flu. Stomach flu can hold you back.
I think at this point, yup, something like the snow can slow you back, slow you down. Until the weather started improving here – until the snow started melting and until the sun started shining everyday – I was not motivated to lose weight or to start eating better. I was eating like a pig, never working out. Now for two weeks I’ve been motivated, eating better, working out, etc. Weather, (at least in my opinion) can slow you down! Hope it soon melts where you are, my friend!
Sending sunshine your way!
i grew up in minnesota and i remember feeling this way this time of year. the weather does make a difference in how we feel — spring will be there soon. just hold on.
.-= Slow Panic´s last blog ..Not So Much Bitter =-.
For the most part, I don’t things can hold you back permanently, but they can certainly make for a road block. I think the part about it interrupting your feeling of leaving a coma is on the right track. I understand that totally. It was the same for me with early motherhood. You’ve just begun to accept and enjoy life in Z because you were finding places to go, things to do, and the snow is putting a damper on that. Hope the snow melts soon enough!
.-= Cranky Sarah´s last blog ..To tell or not to tell =-.
Twitter: aleciahoobing
March 13, 2010 at 8:53 PM
I just feel trapped inside with the snow since our daughter is not yet old enough to ski and there are not a whole lot of outdoor activities to do when it is so cold.
I have been longing for things to slow down a little bit but I prefer slow at the beach to the snow.
You’re right to wonder if anything can really hold us back if we’re ready to go. I wonder the same thing about myself, in retrospect, about last summer. The Summer of Hell, with 100+ weather for 70+ days in a row. I blamed the weather for my foul mood, but was it really to blame? Had I really had it in me to feel differently and do differently I think I would have.
Good luck plowing your snow, girl
.-= Jessica @ This is Worthwhile´s last blog ..Deliberately vague =-.
I’m not liking the snow too much either. For me, it’s the length of time we have to live with it. This winter, however, hasn’t been too bad here in Ottawa. Which is odd, because usually they’re horrendous. And I also like sleeping…a lot, so snow days (and rain) work for me in that respect!
)
.-= Mary @ Holy Mackerel´s last blog ..I Obviously Have No Life, But I Still Have More Of A Life Than Mrs. Snooty McSnooterpants =-.