Lately, I have resurfaced. I am no longer being a stranger, I started blogging again, I started tweeting again, and I’m trying to keep up to date with the posts of my all fave bloggy friends (haven’t quite succeed yet, you are all so prolific, but I’m working on it!).
I’m no longer in hiding, no longer depressed, no longer feeling sorry for myself while simultaneously feeling guilty for feeling sorry for myself while others in my position would consider themselves lucky.
When I read about things happening in NYC, it no longer makes me sad. Sure, sometimes I wish I was there, but I no longer feel like I am missing out on the best things I could be experiencing, like my life is “less than” because of me being here instead of there. I no longer feel like I got relegated from the center of the universe to a remote corner of its outer frontier.
In fact, I may go as far as saying that I feel quite happy. Today I feel the happiness that comes from simple things: exchanging friendly banter and snarky comments with a new friend, experiencing excitement at the discovery of a new local treasure, having a chat while sitting on the tram. The happiness that comes from things that are so plain, so everyday, that we take them for granted. But those same things are what helps you create a life, a life where you feel comfortable, not constantly awkward and out of place; a life where you feel you can be yourself, and not everyone has to like you, and that’s ok; a life where you are not alone, not lonely, not an island, not lost in yourself.
It’s amazing how much we take for granted. How everyone craves the flashy stuff, without realizing that the simple things are really the best part. Someone to share a laugh, a day, a passion with. Someplace to go back and gather your thoughts, knowing you can leave and it will still be there when you come back. Knowing you have a place in the world, a role, even if you don’t know what it is quite yet. And knowing that you can, you will, find a way to follow your bliss without leaving anyone behind and without being left behind.
Also, the luxury to say things like this, and know that not everyone will understand, but your friends will listen anyway. So thank you. For sticking with me during the foggy times, when my sky was nothing but gray. There is snow on the ground outside, but in here? Things are looking up.