What I’m wearing to BlogHer, part 1

by Elisa on July 11, 2009

As uncool as this will make me sound, I have a whole list of things I’m nervous about, as far as BlogHer goes.

I’m nervous about traveling alone for the first time in 10 years, because I barely remember how self-sufficient I was when I was unmarried. Of course when I think about it, it’s a silly worry, because I am most efficient usually when it comes to travel: I’ve traveled enough to be good at packing, not getting lost in airports and not getting nervous on airplanes. My concern is more with the tasks that are normally done by my husband: fetching a taxi/arranging transport, checking in and out of the hotel, etc. I know, pathetic. I’m sure I’ll be ok without my “gentleman caller”

I’m also nervous about drinking too much and then ending up getting a tattoo. Now, that’s a more real concern, since I’m kind of a lightweight when it comes to alcohol (Shauna and Mary would no doubt tell me I need more practice), and I tossed around the thought of getting a tattoo back and forth for a few years, before finally deciding it wasn’t a good idea, what with my tendency to get bored and the fact that tattoo removal is such a pain (literally and figuratively). But I’m sure you can see how that could happen, since there will be a 20% discount on body art during BlogHer and I have trouble resisting sales. Have I mentioned I don’t handle my alcohol well?

And of course I’m nervous about the way I’ll look and present myself to other bloggers. I want to make a good impression. I realize looks are not the only thing involved in that, but in a room with a thousand bloggers, do you want to stick out as one of the poorly dressed ones? Not really. Not to mention I’m freaked out at the thought that people might assume that because of the fabulous heels on my header and my passion for fashion I’m a tall, skinny beauty who will show up in the latest garb because she can totally pull it off.

Pfffft.

Hello? How many times have I mentioned that I’m plus size? Let me see: one, two, and a few times on Twitter. Ok, granted, the second and third example fall outside of my blog, so in case you missed it, here’s the official announcement:

Elisa, The Unlikely Housewife, is plus-sized.

Now that we have that out of the way, you can probably see what adds to my nervousness: plus-sized clothing is notoriously tricky. However, I managed to almost work out one party outfit, which should look something like this:

Cute, right? And not too dressy. Might look slightly different on me, but hopefully not too much worse. I know my husband liked it because when I tried it on he seemed a little miffed he never saw me dressed like that to go on a date. How do I know? Hey, I married a Swiss, I had to learn to read subtle signals, like change in heartbeat, facial expressions and variations of “hmmm” and similar vague noises. By now I can probably rival CIA agents in that. And if they ask me to help fight the war on terrorism I’ll say “sure, as long as I can wear cute shoes”.

Now there. I bet my blog will totally show up on Echelon now. If I get shut down, you know why. And you also know why getting drunk would be a problem for me, since I never shut up even when I’m sober.

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